In other news...

Why is it only Tuesday?

Dude.

Zzzz...

I am getting to this point where my days are less filled than they were initially - one batch of content gets shipped off and never needs to be seen again while another has slowed to a few weekly updates. Even the credits are beginning to be wrapped, which makes me look at the winter and wonder what I'll be doing with it other than being cold out in the main, freezing area.

Yesterday, I was coughing a lot and my head was killing me, so I went to work from home for the afternoon. Typically, the people that were totally missing without even a note or call ended up showing up after I went home. However, after reception was yet again pulled off for duties unrelated to her job here, I was having some difficulty figuring out what exactly I was doing attempting to power through a day when there was no one to pay attention or care. This is becoming the case more and more often... I feel like the only reason they care about what we're doing is they're paying us. It's sort of like when you're a kid and you have a best friend, and then they get a newer, cooler best friend and want to hang with them the whole time. We're the sucky old best friend. Or something. I think people honestly feel somewhat abandoned and without direction. The office is empty, too quiet, too many people get pulled away without anyone knowing where they are or why they're gone.

It's not terribly motivating.

Job Search Update: Applied for an entry-level job on a Very Cool Show doing PA Web-Stuff. I am IDEAL for this job. IDEAL. The question is, whether I get called for it or not. Sally's given me a contact at the Broadcaster to call and ask for ideas/help - but I'm not sure if the contact will be able to do that much. I'm still hopeful... I would really like this opportunity.

Taking a leap

I am successfully (I think) fighting off my cold with the help of Zinc and Cold FX and vitamins. Awesome. I am less tired today - always good for a Friday.

Today, things I have learned from roleplaying games about characters (in order to remind myself that risks are brilliant...):

• Even when you lose, you win - character development comes from crashing and burning rather than succeeding
• If you choose to create a character that has vastly different ideologies than everyone else, that character will occasionally become frustrated with the world around her
• The only risks to take are big ones - the stakes are what makes it all so interesting
• If you have to broker power, you don't have it
• Getting attached to a character just makes you too conservative with it

I don't know that they all apply to other genres - but I've had occasion to consider these things of late.

An Actual Conversation (Paraphrased)

Minion: *snickers*

Co-Worker #1: What're you laughing at?

Minion: Just watching an episode... this guy is hysterical. *monotone* 'That's cool. Wow.' Like, could you be less enthused?

Co-Worker #2: Was that So-and-So?

Minion: Yeah.

Co-Worker #2: That guy's a scumbag. And he was totally stoned.

Minion: Are you serious?!?

Co-Worker #2: Oh yeah. I think he was most of the time we were shooting.

Minion: You'd think you might want to be sober on TV.

*********

Later, while giving back the tape...

Minion: That guy's hysterical. #2 says he was totally high the whole time.

Co-Worker #3: Really? All those girls he's got on there are call girls too.

Minion: What?

Co-Worker #3: Yep. Real class act, that guy.

Just caught a pilot...

For the Buzz Show for CBC.

I really really really hope it works, because I enjoyed it. It's not perfect, but it's fun and funny in places and has some great (and recognizable) talent.

Please, don't drop the ball. As much as I'd like to get out of here, I still want the place to do well - and I think this show deserves a shot.

No TV No Coffee Makes Minion Something Something

Don't mind If I DO!

So, my brother has a baby! Yay! I will likely not meet T. until the holiday, but wow am I excited.

Coffee machine is broken at work. That's coffee machine #3 since I've been here - which is not long enough to trash three coffee makers. Like, we brew a lot of coffee, but not much more than 3-4 pots a day. I think. I drank some tea, but today it's not cutting it. Waking up at 4 AM, eventually sleeping, then sleeping IN + half-hour wait for the bus = groggy, spacy Minion.

Yesterday, JerkHost waved to me as he pulled out of the parking lot. AMAZING!

Also, if any of my guy-writer-readers were loitering around the Starbucks at Yonge and Wellesley at 10ish on Saturday, I heard you talking about script stuff on your cell... I only post this because said Cell-Script-Talkin'-Dude looked vaguely familiar.

There's some random sleepiness for you. Back to Contra!

...And now, complaining about other people

Which I know I shouldn't do excessively when it doesn't directly impact me - however:

On arriving v. v. late to work, do you:

A) Get to work, skip lunchbreak, and hope you don't have to stay late

B) Get to work, take a shorter lunch, and expect to come in early

C) Sit down and read the paper

See, it shouldn't bother me; it's not anything that affects me, it's not anything that I honestly care about but for the fact that I feel like, if it were -me-, there might be issues.

Or maybe not. I am grouchy. Lunch was avacado and cream cheese wrap w/ cucumber and sprouts. Not quite mac and cheese, but still helpful!

Also: I missed my Pop Culture meeting on Sunday, and no one got my email about the fact that I would have to... so they were wondering what happened. :P:P I am supposed to talk with the producer tonight, so I guess I will know better then!

Still no baby.

Babies = Inconvienient Little Bastards

I have travelled over 700 kilometres and made about 5 connections in 24 hours to get to a hospital in hopes of seeing my brother's kid-to-be become a kid, then back here. Sadly, baby was stubborn and my trip was more or less for naught. I managed to drag myself in from the north only two hours late. Producers were sadly having a meeting with a new writer at the time - but I'm actually here, which could be considered better than H, who's managed to sleep in again - this time, well past noon. Still haven't seen him yet.

So, I got my vitally important credits crap done and over with. Excellent. Now, I am here for the rest of the day - tired, grouchy and desperately wanting to be at home with the cats. All I've wanted since last night was to go -home- already. And now, I have four to four-and-a-half hours to wait... plus the joy of taking transit home. Maybe today is a good day for an actual real, live lunch break in which I read my book and zone.

Rasslin'

So, today I might surprise people a little, but I'm gonna write about pro wrestling today. I watch pro wrestling somewhat regularly and enjoy it a great deal. At first, when I came to it a few years ago, it just amused me. It's a soap opera for men - and often a pretty homoerotic one - with the most ridiculous storylines this side of Passions. After awhile, it was the business and how it runs, the backstage gossip that interested me. I don't think there's a genre of television where the performers have so much control over the storylines, the outcome of the matches. One's career can be very different depending on who you know, who you're married to, and so on. And lastly, I came to really appreciate the athleticism - sure - it's pre-determined and all, and it's often silly - but check out A.J. Styles leaping from the cage at about 2:36 in this video and tell me it doesn't take some form of skill and talent.

Anyway, this week past, TNA Wrestling (Total Non-Stop Action... I dunno) went to prime time on Thursday on Spike. It used to air at 11 PM, and went to 9 PM. I was immediately struck by some differences - which I suppose was to accomodate the move and increase viewership... while not alienating people who have been watching all along. I am not sure that TNA was entirely successful.

Wrestlers rely on gimmicks for a storyline - and these gimmicks remain pretty constant, whether the character be 'good' (face) or 'bad' (heel). They do change from time to time, but the difficulty is in changing a gimmick in a way that people can still accept and that doesn't assume your audience has the long-term memory of a gnat. There were a few changes that seemed just to come out of left field - and one of these was the transformation of anarchic good ol' boys Kip and B.G. James from the James Gang into the VKM. I could tell you what it purportedly stands for - but it doesn't matter. It -really- stands for Vincent Kennedy McMahon, the head of the WWE. Though I very much enjoyed the ragging on the WWE the were doing initially, I began to think - wouldn't TNA be better to take the high road? Kip and B.G. were popular (over) before - and that was without them declaring war on the E. In the end, I think the lesson there might be - on any show, it's stupid to give the competition -too- much attention.

But who knows - it might work. I just think maybe they ought to be sticking to the stuf that makes them obviously superior rather than pointing out the fact that the competition is evil.

Also, something cool - I saw Gail Kim use Trish Stratus' moves and went, 'Cool!' then 'Aw. She's really retired.'

There's the bad and the good and lots of the weird and bloody and mediocre - but wrestling's an interesting business. You might hear about it again from time to time.

EDIT: I have found out what happened with the weird gimmick changes in the prime-time debut - Vince Russo, aka 'The Final Nail in WCW's Coffin' is now doing the writing/booking (Match planning). God help us all.

More on Communication + Updates

I am beginning to realize that many people simply do not read emails, to the point of thinking there are problems that have been addressed much earlier in the email chain.

Unsurprisingly, the examples that have brought this to mind involve me, Execs, Producers, Hosts, etc. etc. And SPONSORS, which are becoming the bane of my existence. Not because they exist - they all are decent, interesting people - but because everyone here stresses that the sponsors are VERY important and need to be taken care of... but there's no one to do it. WProd is the usual contact, but she's got a lot going on personally and professionally - it's tough for her to do. As you might remember, we have no marketing person, because, for some reason, they decided not to hire back an old employee like, two hours before contract signing. So I am picking up a bit of slack there - contacting sponsors for web stuff, maintaining credits, etc.

Yesterday's flurry of emails was sparked by the fact that a 'sponsor' - and I quote because they're only in there 'cause that's where Hosts get aesthetic services - was upset because they were promised special thanks and were not in the credits. Well, take a moment to pause your VC/PVR and LOOK. They're in the credits for every fucking episode! So, I pass that on and me and one of the Art people work out a time to get thier logo into the show so they'll shut up and Hosts can still get into a tanning bed for free. :P

Today, Producer Dee - who is sick, so I will cut her slack - is all 'we're getting a form to double check the database and all them to all the special thanks'. Um, well. T, if you'd read the emails, you would see that the sponsor was added to all episodes in SEPTEMBER, like I SAID VERY CLEARLY.

In the end, all this frustrates me because it stems from not paying attention. It takes very little to actually listen to people, to full read an email, to look for something that's right in front of you. It's just that people would either rather get upset or look like they're being proactive and awesome rather than taking a minute to pay attention. You can learn a lot by just listening. It's sad that more people don't.

Job Update: Nothing heard yet, but I am hoping that I'll get a call or email in a couple of weeks; Pop Culture Show meeting is on Sunday! I'll give an update on that one soon. Keep fingers crossed.

Communicating

There seems to be a lot of energy around communication these days - If you'll all indulge me in a bit of my new-agey stuff for a bit. My DailyOM horoscopes primarily centre around ways to express oneself or listen to others, I am finding myself in interesting conversations, DMc is sparking debate and encouraging a revolution in the way us Canadian TV types interact. It's an interesting time.

Why am I on about this? I've also been thinking a lot about the communication at my workplace, or sad lack thereof. It was brought into pretty clear focus by the sheer amount of information I am noticing is either passed along through rumour and conjecture, conflicting, or just not passed on at all. There was a particular amount of confusion about a holiday - which is just weird. I mean, other places I have worked have generally made it a point to make sure everyone knows what's going on. Big Copier Company was particuarly awesome about this unsurprisingly; even if it's a small message like 'The following people are off this Monday..." or "The Execs will be in the following days this week...", it would still keep everyone in the loop.

(Granted, to accurately tell people when the Execs will be in would require that they maintain a schedule.)

Maybe I'll address this at some point, but I don't see it changing. Email conversations trail off into the ether, unanswered; discussions don't make much sense; nearly everything is a last-minute panic thing. I guess I'll just keep looking for something else.

Job update: Big Media Corp. job is closing Tuesday, so might hear something a few weeks after that. I have applied to be a gossip writer as well, which is like a dream job for me - but I am not sure how magazine work is. When I worked for NOW, it was awesome... but that place is a whole different world.

OMG Cracktica PODCAST

So, Callaghan posted asking about the Battlestar Galactica podcasts - and that inspired me to hunt them down as well. You see, apparently, I don't get enough Cracktica in my weekly dose, so must go to other places to get me through.

Everyone who had that discussion - THANK YOU. I spent my day of writing a FASCINATING article on colour and databasing listening to the three part writer's meeting - and I cannot tell you how interesting and -instructive- it all is. It's also exciting to hear a group work with such creative synergy - inspiring, even. If you watch Galactica, I urge you to check 'em out on iTunes. If you don't watch it you can as well - just might be a bit confusing.

Now I want to spend the weekend with Alias commentaries. I miss the wigs. :(

Eeeee hee hee hee hee

indie producer guy says: (1:32:45 PM)
Thought you would like to know that Bite TV has decided to pick up Pop Culture Show!! So, we will be having a meeting shortly to discuss the next steps.

Pop Culture Show is something that I was working on as a side-project. Given my educational background, love of all things cute, and interest in TV production, it seemed like a perfect fit. So, I threw in some time at story meetings, and wrote a bunch of stuff for the pilot we were working on.

It's been picked up. I am not sure on the details of the buy, or where I might fit in... but Indie Producer Guy told me that he might want me to be a co-producer or something. Wow.

This, a productive specialist appointment, and Britney dumping K-Fed by text. It's a pretty good day.

Friday Night Lights

I hated football in High School. I cannot accurately describe HOW MUCH I hated it. I hated all the players, all the cheerleaders, the spirit days, being expected to cheer on the team. HATE. There was a lot of football at my school, as well - it had (has?) a long tradition of provincial championships and all that good stuff. I was a goth theatre geek in a small town, and I went to a farmer school. If you were already inclined to hate, there was a lot there to complain about.

(Oddly, I had no issues at all with dating my super-hot 6'5" Catholic-school basketball playing boyfriend. Perhaps it was the super-hot part. Anyway...)

So, I am surprised that I want to see Tim Riggins kick ass and go pro so badly that I am looking forward to seeing actual football next week.

I am surprised that I like the show just that much. Well played, NBC.

Things I am doing other than working today

• Being annoyed with e-mail spastic roleplaying game buddies (shuttup)
• Waiting on news about online gaming (shuttup more)
• Sending colleagues useful links for their lives, but not for work
• Listening to other's music
• Doing the crossword
• Making plans about which Lifestyle host to off if the infection goes to my brain and I have an excuse for such behaviour
• Wondering if it's wrong that Adrian Pasdar's hotness grows in equal proportion to Nathan Petrelli's bastardy
• Wondering where the hell everyone IS already
• Making lists of things to do
• Having meetings to make lists of things to do
• Weighing the benefits of leaving early over the drawbacks
• Writing this post

Thank you to wcdixon, caroline, and the silent MILLIONS (I'm so totally sure!) who have thought of me recently. I am getting better and having people skilled in such issues checking 'em out, so - cautiously optimistic.

I think I will be proposing something similar to Hiro's Blog for 'Heroes' for the Buzz Comedy for the Public Broadcaster - If I can manage to get it cleared, I can set myself up to write for a specific character - always good. But I think the response 'Hiro' is getting is indicative of how much that sort of thing can affect people's investment into the character and the show. Even if I leave and hand it off to someone else, it'll be a good promotional tool.

Return of the Mack

So much of my life is defined by guilt - what I OUGHT to be doing, what I SHOULD be doing - and I really hate it. I am going to work on changing that.

The concept of guilt as a defining emotion is brought into sharp and clear focus any time illness comes into the picture. I have a couple of different issues that can knock me out - one a episodic mental problem that has inspired my 'Tales from the Loony Bin', as well as a few script ideas; the others my health issues that have plagued me since I was a kid. Either one can knock me out of contention for a few days, but at least with my depression problems, I have ways of coping - intense, aggressive positive thinking (ie: 'This -will- be a good day, you -will- get work done, no one hates you...'), meditation, what have you. Not so much with this recent bout of infection.

Infections are perhaps amongst the most evil of ailments. Incredible pain, dizziness, lightheadedness, cold and exhaustion - plus whatever side effects one gets from massive amounts of antibiotics trying to shore up the bodily defenses. In other words - Dude, I am tired. Tired and incredibly emotional a month-and-a-half long illness - seriously, I get weepy just from pain or thinking about how fucking long this thing has lasted. But. I am getting better. Monday through Wednesday, I looked like paper-white, even with blush. Today, I have some colour back.

Anyway, this gets back to the guilt thing - the past two weeks have been, shall we say, not the most reliable at work. This week in particular, I have been out more than in, but I've been doing my best to work from home - as much as I can when I'm all hurty. But even so, I feel like crap about not being here - even if there's nothing much I could do, even if the day I -was- in early in the week was hell, even if I was in such intense pain all weekend and early in the week that painkillers worked for an hour and I slept to escape the hurting. Despite KNOWING that I needed that time to heal, I feel awful about it - even when I got a kind email from WProducer noting that she was sorry she wasn't aware of my illness. But still, guilt. Guilt for missing work, for not working on side projects, for not writing, for all the various stuff I'm supposed to do and can't get the energy for. It's something I'd like to move past, but I don't know if it's that easy...

Even if there's nothing wrong with doing what you can when you can. I think our society gets far too wrapped up in productivity at the expense of people - people get sick and there's no magic pill that heals them; for issues that aren't defined as 'in-patient', sometimes a person just needs rest to give their body a chance to fight off the illness. Work culture is not very understanding of that, which is just bizarre - we've all dragged ourselves in when we have no right to be standing, let alone being out in public. Thankfully, whatever problems I've had here, they seem too be not-too-pissed about the whole ear-thing. Which is nice.

So, I'm back - hopefully for good. Have an appointment with a specialist on Wednesday. On the work-front, new developments: A tape of 'beauty' shots from a trip far, far away for Show #1 is royally fucked which has made producer Dee very, understandably upset; the new comedy seems to have good buzz and be going along well; Show #2 is doing well. I'm slogging through stuff and getting saddled with sponsor contact - big surprise. I've also applied to a specific and fascinating job with one of the bigger entertainment conglomerates, which I am hoping to get called for. As much as people are lovely here, I would like some more security than this place provides.